Workplace Bully

Bullying doesn't just happen to children. It can occur to anyone at anytime, anyplace. The workplace has been known to harbor bullying among employees. Whether it's your boss, or a co worker, bullying in the workplace can make your job miserable. Try reporting your situation to the Human Resources Department. Or if you want to try to care of the harassment yourself, here are some handy tips:

-Ask a trusted mentor what they would do in your situation
-Confront the bully in a professional way; you don't want to sink to their level. Crying, or showing any other form of weakness will only fuel the bully. That is the type of reaction they're looking for.
-Complete your work well. The bully is hoping you will fail at your job. If you prove them wrong, you will defeat them.
-Alert superiors of what you're working on. The bully might try and spread rumors and gossip that you are slacking on the job. If you make sure people know the truth about what you're working on, you will protect your reputation as a good worker.
- The bully could try and isolate you from you peers, so keep up your relationships with office co workers.

Read more from the About.com article, "What to do About Workplace Bullies"
Image Source

Know the Signs

Cases of bullying often go unnoticed. Children might be afraid the bullying will become worse if they tell, and bystanders could get scared they will become the next victim if they try and help out. Sadly, some victims might believe no one will be able to help or stop the harassment even if they do tell. This is why it's important to know the signs of someone being bullied so you can intervene before the situation gets worse.

list comes from Kidscape

If you see any of these signs in someone, ask them if they're being threatened or bullied. Know the signs of bullying so you can help stop the torment sooner.

Picture source

Why People Bully

Picture is an example of "popular kids." From the San Fransisco Chronicle.
This is a scene from the movie Mean Girls. It was an influential movie that comically addressed the issues of bullying in schools.




The stereotypical bully is bigger than the other kids, probably not very smart, extremely violent, with very low self esteem. However, the reality is that more kids falling into the "popular" clique are the ones who are bullying. They have higher self esteem and usually just want to maintain their status by putting down other kids.

If you want to learn more about why students bully, check out this article on the urban martial arts website about the top 5 reasons why people bully.

Let us know in the comments if you think of more reasons why people in your class might bully!

Celebrities Speaking Out

Last year, we were overwhelmed with news of teenagers being so severely bullied that it drove them to take their own lives. Upon hearing this news, many celebrities are speaking up. They are sharing their stories about being tormented through their school years, and encouraging kids who are bullied to keep their faith and to seek help from those people who care all around them.

Take a look at some of the celebrities sharing their stories and speaking out against bullying.

To read about celebrities pulling together to make a PSA for kids who are bullied, visit the article from Fox News.

To read about many celebrities sharing their personal experiences with bullies, visit the Hollyscoop article to hear from Demi Lovato, Lance Bass, Talo Cruz, and others about bullying.

To watch a clip from the Ellen DeGeneres show, speaking up against bullying, visit the Ellen Degeneres Show website.

Ellen DeGeneres, host of her own talk show.

Child Gets Plastic Surgery to Avoid Bullies

Click Here to visit the source, Yahoo News

Do you think it should be okay for children to get plastic surgery? What if it prevented them from getting harassed? Let us know what you think in the comments!

Students Bullied...by Teachers

Although we have mainly been focusing on bullying in the school system, where one student harasses another. There is another kind of bullying that is even harder for a student to do something about. According to the article from WebMD, there have been some anonymous surveys conducted that say 45% of teachers admit to having bullied a student. Take a look at the article and find out more about what students and parents should do if they find out a teacher is "using their power to punish, manipulate, or disparage a student beyond what would be a reasonable disciplinary procedure." (definition according to Stuart Twemlow, who is quoted in the article)

How to Fight Back if You're the Victim

Being the victim is never an easy thing to handle. Being overpowered by someone who lowers your self esteem makes it hard to stand up for yourself. One thing you don't want to do is give the bully reactions. They're waiting for you to be effected by what do and say; if you remain calm and in control of yourself, you won't give the bully the satisfaction of hurting you.

Or you can employ the HA HA SO Strategies.
H- Help
A victim may not be able to handle the situation alone. They should ask for help from a trusted adult to help them, like their parents, a friends parents, teacher, counselor, neighbor, or who ever else they feel comfortable with.

A- Assert Yourself
When dealing with the bully, the victim should be assertive. Here are some tips about how to be assertive:
-Make eye contact
-Speak firmly
-Directly face the bully. Make your body language assert confidence.
-Have a calm look on your face
-"Use an "I statement." An example of that would be saying, "(Bully's name), I feel _________when you ________. Please_________."" (Stop Bullying Site)

H- Humor
The goal of the bully is to upset you, so if you fire a joke back at him instead of an insult, you'll catch him off guard and leave the bully scratching their head.

A- Avoid
Try your best to stay out of the way of the bully. For example, if you're at recess, play on the other side of the playground than the bully. If you're not near the bully, they won't be able to hurt you.

S- Self Talk
Think positively. Your thoughts have a lot more power over you than you might know. If you keep thinking "Henry's right, I don't have any friends" then you'll begin to feel that way. But the effect also works for positive thoughts too. Think to yourself, "I am loved by my parents, my cousins, my friends, my neighbors, my teachers, etc." and remind yourself of all the people that care about you and love you. You need to be kind to yourself, especially if someone else is being mean.

O- Own it
Sometimes what the bully says to you will be true. If you wear glasses and the bully makes fun of them, you could say "All the better to see you with." (Stop Bullying Site) Since you can't deny you're wearing glasses, be confident and 'own it.'

Check out Stop Bullying to find more ways to stop a bully.

I also found this wonderful website called Bullies to Buddies. They have free materials that aid in all aspects of bullying. One I found most interesting was the page on "How to Stop Being Teased and Bullied Without Really Trying." You can access that page HERE. Through ten lessons you can learn how to stop being the victim and take control of the situation yourself. I encourage everyone to go check this helpful site out.

Got any other ideas on how to reduce being bullied? Let us know in the comments!

Link to the Bullies to Buddies website: http://bullies2buddies.com/

Causes of Bullying

"Psychologists used to believe that bullies have low self-esteem, and put down other people to feel better about themselves. While many bullies are themselves bullied at home or at school, new research shows that most bullies actually have excellent self-esteem. Bullies usually have a sense of entitlement and superiority over others, and lack compassion, impulse control and social skills. They enjoy being cruel to others and sometimes use bullying as an anger management tool, the way a normally angry person would punch a pillow." -Jane St. Clair

This is a part of an article written about the reasons people bully, primarily in teenagers. The article comes from a site made by parents for parents. It's used as a resource for parents of teens.

I also found another article on the MassGeneral Hospital for Children that talks about "causes, consequences, and practical advice."

photo source: here

Bullying and Rejection

One of the harshest forms of bullying involves no harassment are name calling at all, it is simply rejection. Many students are scared of being left out. The article below explores how rejection by peers can cause mental problems or for the student to get poor grades and maybe drop out of school or develop substance abuse issues.

Picture at left is of a cute scared kid, he is scared of bullying and rejection.

Article here on the Live Science website (also the picture source), check it out!

LGBT Targeted as Victims for Bullys

Over 160,000 kids miss school everyday due to fear of being bullied by fellow students. Source: National Education Association. "Nearly 9 out of 10 LGBT youth reported being verbally harassed at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation" according to MBNBD

Almost two thirds (60.8%) of the students who said they had been harassed never reported the incident.
Of those who did report a case of harassment, 31.1% said school staff didn't do anything in response.

Obama addressed the issue of gay bullying, supporting the victims who might have felt alone and unloved.

"You'll look back on the struggles you faced with compassion and wisdom. And that's not going to just serve you, but it will help you get involved and make this country a better place...it means you'll be more likely to understand personally and deeply why its so important that as adults we set an example in our own lives and that we treat everybody with respect. That we are able to see the world through others eyes and stand in their shoes."

link to the video:
Obama's Message Against Bullying Gay Youth


Sources used:
http://www.makebeatsnotbeatdowns.org/facts_new.html

How Parents Can Help

"Bullying and harassment thrive on silence. Parents can break the silence by listening and talking with their children about strategies for dealing with bullies." (Steven Barreto) This is just a blip of an article by Steven Barreto, a licensed child and family psychologist. In the article, Barreto explores some solutions to bullying. He talks about how parents can help if it comes to their attention that their child is being bullied. He also talks about what signs to look for in a victim of bullying like missing clothing or taking an alternate route to school.

Check out the article and learn what to look for and how to help students being bullied!

http://www.lifespan.org/services/childhealth/parenting/bullying.htm

picture from http://www.prostatecancer.ca/Prostate-Cancer/Risk-Factor/Family-History

When Bullying Goes Too Far

We have heard in the news a lot recently about students who were bullied to the extent that they felt they had no other choice but to take their own lives.

Below is a link to a video and an article about a young 5th grader at an Atlanta elementary school who was bullied too far in the spring of 2009.

http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/dpp/news/Vigil_Held_for_DeKalb_Suicide_Victim_042109

The Problem of Bullying

Bullying effects an estimate of 50-60% of all school students each day and is getting worse. Bullying can take many forms like the usual verbal bullying or playground fights. However, as these types of bullying are difficult to deal with, other forms are even harder. Most students who are bullied don't even report their situation, for being scared that it could just get worse if the person bullying them found out that they "tattled" on them. This seems like it may only be the case in elementary school but bullying issues go much farther than the playground.

Below is a link to a website with a lot of general information on bullying. Take a look, it may help you recognize some signs of people being bullied or maybe even of a bully so you can help do something about it.

http://www.olweus.org/public/bullying.page

picture from http://www.safenetwork.org/Bully_Prevention_In_Schools.htm

Is There a Connection Between Bullying and Health?

We know bullying takes a large toll on victims emotionally, but there have been studies conducted to show a possible link between the physical health of students who are bullied and those who aren't. The article on the website link below explores the possible connection.

http://www.education.com/reference/article/bullying-impact-on-health-and-academics/

Bullycide

Bullycide is when someone commits suicide as a result of bullying. According to BullyingStatistics.com, "For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it."


A 13 year old boy, pictured at left, was "bullied to death" by fellow classmates. He was made fun of for his small size and the way he dressed. He was also called gay, which I've noticed is a recurring theme in many of the bullying cases I've read about. The news story comes from Chron, Houston and Texas News. Read more about Parents Say Bullying Drove Their Son to Take His Life.



Ryan Halligan committed suicide in 2003 at age 13. His Dad now speaks at schools about his story. This is a very touching speech he gave about his son. I encourage you to watch it.


Video from YouTube

Bullying rates going down

According to MSNBC, the number of kids physically bullied went "from nearly 22 percent in 2003 to under 15 percent in 2008" (AP 1). An increase in funding for anti0bullying programs following the 1999 Columbine incident has encouraged these lower bullying rates. This decrease is encouraging, but we shouldn't be satisfied. "You have to keep at it, training new teachers every year — not just training one time and you’re done," says Marlene Snyder, of Clemson University’s Institute on Family and Neighborhood Life (AP 1).

Interested in the article? Read about the Sharp Drop Seen in Children's Bullying from MSNBC.