Know the Signs

Cases of bullying often go unnoticed. Children might be afraid the bullying will become worse if they tell, and bystanders could get scared they will become the next victim if they try and help out. Sadly, some victims might believe no one will be able to help or stop the harassment even if they do tell. This is why it's important to know the signs of someone being bullied so you can intervene before the situation gets worse.

list comes from Kidscape

If you see any of these signs in someone, ask them if they're being threatened or bullied. Know the signs of bullying so you can help stop the torment sooner.

Picture source

How to Fight Back if You're the Victim

Being the victim is never an easy thing to handle. Being overpowered by someone who lowers your self esteem makes it hard to stand up for yourself. One thing you don't want to do is give the bully reactions. They're waiting for you to be effected by what do and say; if you remain calm and in control of yourself, you won't give the bully the satisfaction of hurting you.

Or you can employ the HA HA SO Strategies.
H- Help
A victim may not be able to handle the situation alone. They should ask for help from a trusted adult to help them, like their parents, a friends parents, teacher, counselor, neighbor, or who ever else they feel comfortable with.

A- Assert Yourself
When dealing with the bully, the victim should be assertive. Here are some tips about how to be assertive:
-Make eye contact
-Speak firmly
-Directly face the bully. Make your body language assert confidence.
-Have a calm look on your face
-"Use an "I statement." An example of that would be saying, "(Bully's name), I feel _________when you ________. Please_________."" (Stop Bullying Site)

H- Humor
The goal of the bully is to upset you, so if you fire a joke back at him instead of an insult, you'll catch him off guard and leave the bully scratching their head.

A- Avoid
Try your best to stay out of the way of the bully. For example, if you're at recess, play on the other side of the playground than the bully. If you're not near the bully, they won't be able to hurt you.

S- Self Talk
Think positively. Your thoughts have a lot more power over you than you might know. If you keep thinking "Henry's right, I don't have any friends" then you'll begin to feel that way. But the effect also works for positive thoughts too. Think to yourself, "I am loved by my parents, my cousins, my friends, my neighbors, my teachers, etc." and remind yourself of all the people that care about you and love you. You need to be kind to yourself, especially if someone else is being mean.

O- Own it
Sometimes what the bully says to you will be true. If you wear glasses and the bully makes fun of them, you could say "All the better to see you with." (Stop Bullying Site) Since you can't deny you're wearing glasses, be confident and 'own it.'

Check out Stop Bullying to find more ways to stop a bully.

I also found this wonderful website called Bullies to Buddies. They have free materials that aid in all aspects of bullying. One I found most interesting was the page on "How to Stop Being Teased and Bullied Without Really Trying." You can access that page HERE. Through ten lessons you can learn how to stop being the victim and take control of the situation yourself. I encourage everyone to go check this helpful site out.

Got any other ideas on how to reduce being bullied? Let us know in the comments!

Link to the Bullies to Buddies website: http://bullies2buddies.com/

LGBT Targeted as Victims for Bullys

Over 160,000 kids miss school everyday due to fear of being bullied by fellow students. Source: National Education Association. "Nearly 9 out of 10 LGBT youth reported being verbally harassed at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation" according to MBNBD

Almost two thirds (60.8%) of the students who said they had been harassed never reported the incident.
Of those who did report a case of harassment, 31.1% said school staff didn't do anything in response.

Obama addressed the issue of gay bullying, supporting the victims who might have felt alone and unloved.

"You'll look back on the struggles you faced with compassion and wisdom. And that's not going to just serve you, but it will help you get involved and make this country a better place...it means you'll be more likely to understand personally and deeply why its so important that as adults we set an example in our own lives and that we treat everybody with respect. That we are able to see the world through others eyes and stand in their shoes."

link to the video:
Obama's Message Against Bullying Gay Youth


Sources used:
http://www.makebeatsnotbeatdowns.org/facts_new.html

When Bullying Goes Too Far

We have heard in the news a lot recently about students who were bullied to the extent that they felt they had no other choice but to take their own lives.

Below is a link to a video and an article about a young 5th grader at an Atlanta elementary school who was bullied too far in the spring of 2009.

http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/dpp/news/Vigil_Held_for_DeKalb_Suicide_Victim_042109

The Problem of Bullying

Bullying effects an estimate of 50-60% of all school students each day and is getting worse. Bullying can take many forms like the usual verbal bullying or playground fights. However, as these types of bullying are difficult to deal with, other forms are even harder. Most students who are bullied don't even report their situation, for being scared that it could just get worse if the person bullying them found out that they "tattled" on them. This seems like it may only be the case in elementary school but bullying issues go much farther than the playground.

Below is a link to a website with a lot of general information on bullying. Take a look, it may help you recognize some signs of people being bullied or maybe even of a bully so you can help do something about it.

http://www.olweus.org/public/bullying.page

picture from http://www.safenetwork.org/Bully_Prevention_In_Schools.htm

Bullycide

Bullycide is when someone commits suicide as a result of bullying. According to BullyingStatistics.com, "For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it."


A 13 year old boy, pictured at left, was "bullied to death" by fellow classmates. He was made fun of for his small size and the way he dressed. He was also called gay, which I've noticed is a recurring theme in many of the bullying cases I've read about. The news story comes from Chron, Houston and Texas News. Read more about Parents Say Bullying Drove Their Son to Take His Life.



Ryan Halligan committed suicide in 2003 at age 13. His Dad now speaks at schools about his story. This is a very touching speech he gave about his son. I encourage you to watch it.


Video from YouTube

Bullying rates going down

According to MSNBC, the number of kids physically bullied went "from nearly 22 percent in 2003 to under 15 percent in 2008" (AP 1). An increase in funding for anti0bullying programs following the 1999 Columbine incident has encouraged these lower bullying rates. This decrease is encouraging, but we shouldn't be satisfied. "You have to keep at it, training new teachers every year — not just training one time and you’re done," says Marlene Snyder, of Clemson University’s Institute on Family and Neighborhood Life (AP 1).

Interested in the article? Read about the Sharp Drop Seen in Children's Bullying from MSNBC.

Cyber Bullying

Cyber Bullying - any type of bullying that is carried out by electronic medium. There are 7 types including:

1. Text message bullying

2. Picture/video clip bullying via mobile phone cameras

3. Phone call bullying via mobile phones

4. E-mail bullying

5. Chat-room bullying

6. Bullying through instant messaging (IM)

7. Bullying via websites

(list comes from http://www.makebeatsnotbeatdowns.org/facts_new.html)

Cyber bullying has become a big issue in the past few years. Traditional bullying could stop as soon as you left the playground. It was much easier to walk away. Cyber bulling can happen 24/7 and be anonymous. People will often have an easier time to say mean things over the web or phone than face to face.

Here is a tragic example of what happens when cyber bullying goes too far:
http://www.slais.ubc.ca/courses/libr500/04-05-wt2/www/D_Jackson/examples.htm



I know this graph can be hard to read, so click HERE to see a better copy of it.

Stop Bullying

http://www.stopbullying.gov/

This useful site contains lots of information on bullying, and how to stop it. I found that "Recognizing the Warning Signs" was an interesting article to read. Being able to identify a bully or victim is vital in order to stop abuse as soon as possible.