How to Fight Back if You're the Victim

Being the victim is never an easy thing to handle. Being overpowered by someone who lowers your self esteem makes it hard to stand up for yourself. One thing you don't want to do is give the bully reactions. They're waiting for you to be effected by what do and say; if you remain calm and in control of yourself, you won't give the bully the satisfaction of hurting you.

Or you can employ the HA HA SO Strategies.
H- Help
A victim may not be able to handle the situation alone. They should ask for help from a trusted adult to help them, like their parents, a friends parents, teacher, counselor, neighbor, or who ever else they feel comfortable with.

A- Assert Yourself
When dealing with the bully, the victim should be assertive. Here are some tips about how to be assertive:
-Make eye contact
-Speak firmly
-Directly face the bully. Make your body language assert confidence.
-Have a calm look on your face
-"Use an "I statement." An example of that would be saying, "(Bully's name), I feel _________when you ________. Please_________."" (Stop Bullying Site)

H- Humor
The goal of the bully is to upset you, so if you fire a joke back at him instead of an insult, you'll catch him off guard and leave the bully scratching their head.

A- Avoid
Try your best to stay out of the way of the bully. For example, if you're at recess, play on the other side of the playground than the bully. If you're not near the bully, they won't be able to hurt you.

S- Self Talk
Think positively. Your thoughts have a lot more power over you than you might know. If you keep thinking "Henry's right, I don't have any friends" then you'll begin to feel that way. But the effect also works for positive thoughts too. Think to yourself, "I am loved by my parents, my cousins, my friends, my neighbors, my teachers, etc." and remind yourself of all the people that care about you and love you. You need to be kind to yourself, especially if someone else is being mean.

O- Own it
Sometimes what the bully says to you will be true. If you wear glasses and the bully makes fun of them, you could say "All the better to see you with." (Stop Bullying Site) Since you can't deny you're wearing glasses, be confident and 'own it.'

Check out Stop Bullying to find more ways to stop a bully.

I also found this wonderful website called Bullies to Buddies. They have free materials that aid in all aspects of bullying. One I found most interesting was the page on "How to Stop Being Teased and Bullied Without Really Trying." You can access that page HERE. Through ten lessons you can learn how to stop being the victim and take control of the situation yourself. I encourage everyone to go check this helpful site out.

Got any other ideas on how to reduce being bullied? Let us know in the comments!

Link to the Bullies to Buddies website: http://bullies2buddies.com/

Causes of Bullying

"Psychologists used to believe that bullies have low self-esteem, and put down other people to feel better about themselves. While many bullies are themselves bullied at home or at school, new research shows that most bullies actually have excellent self-esteem. Bullies usually have a sense of entitlement and superiority over others, and lack compassion, impulse control and social skills. They enjoy being cruel to others and sometimes use bullying as an anger management tool, the way a normally angry person would punch a pillow." -Jane St. Clair

This is a part of an article written about the reasons people bully, primarily in teenagers. The article comes from a site made by parents for parents. It's used as a resource for parents of teens.

I also found another article on the MassGeneral Hospital for Children that talks about "causes, consequences, and practical advice."

photo source: here

Bullying and Rejection

One of the harshest forms of bullying involves no harassment are name calling at all, it is simply rejection. Many students are scared of being left out. The article below explores how rejection by peers can cause mental problems or for the student to get poor grades and maybe drop out of school or develop substance abuse issues.

Picture at left is of a cute scared kid, he is scared of bullying and rejection.

Article here on the Live Science website (also the picture source), check it out!

LGBT Targeted as Victims for Bullys

Over 160,000 kids miss school everyday due to fear of being bullied by fellow students. Source: National Education Association. "Nearly 9 out of 10 LGBT youth reported being verbally harassed at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation" according to MBNBD

Almost two thirds (60.8%) of the students who said they had been harassed never reported the incident.
Of those who did report a case of harassment, 31.1% said school staff didn't do anything in response.

Obama addressed the issue of gay bullying, supporting the victims who might have felt alone and unloved.

"You'll look back on the struggles you faced with compassion and wisdom. And that's not going to just serve you, but it will help you get involved and make this country a better place...it means you'll be more likely to understand personally and deeply why its so important that as adults we set an example in our own lives and that we treat everybody with respect. That we are able to see the world through others eyes and stand in their shoes."

link to the video:
Obama's Message Against Bullying Gay Youth


Sources used:
http://www.makebeatsnotbeatdowns.org/facts_new.html

How Parents Can Help

"Bullying and harassment thrive on silence. Parents can break the silence by listening and talking with their children about strategies for dealing with bullies." (Steven Barreto) This is just a blip of an article by Steven Barreto, a licensed child and family psychologist. In the article, Barreto explores some solutions to bullying. He talks about how parents can help if it comes to their attention that their child is being bullied. He also talks about what signs to look for in a victim of bullying like missing clothing or taking an alternate route to school.

Check out the article and learn what to look for and how to help students being bullied!

http://www.lifespan.org/services/childhealth/parenting/bullying.htm

picture from http://www.prostatecancer.ca/Prostate-Cancer/Risk-Factor/Family-History

When Bullying Goes Too Far

We have heard in the news a lot recently about students who were bullied to the extent that they felt they had no other choice but to take their own lives.

Below is a link to a video and an article about a young 5th grader at an Atlanta elementary school who was bullied too far in the spring of 2009.

http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/dpp/news/Vigil_Held_for_DeKalb_Suicide_Victim_042109

The Problem of Bullying

Bullying effects an estimate of 50-60% of all school students each day and is getting worse. Bullying can take many forms like the usual verbal bullying or playground fights. However, as these types of bullying are difficult to deal with, other forms are even harder. Most students who are bullied don't even report their situation, for being scared that it could just get worse if the person bullying them found out that they "tattled" on them. This seems like it may only be the case in elementary school but bullying issues go much farther than the playground.

Below is a link to a website with a lot of general information on bullying. Take a look, it may help you recognize some signs of people being bullied or maybe even of a bully so you can help do something about it.

http://www.olweus.org/public/bullying.page

picture from http://www.safenetwork.org/Bully_Prevention_In_Schools.htm